Thursday, June 23, 2005

There's a Place Called Mars...

Looking at Mars mission photos, I was struck by the contrast between scenes of a rocky, lifeless planet and the rich, fanciful portrayals of Mars in popular culture. I prefer a fanciful Mars. A place, where flora and fauna from the pages of Ernst Haekel’s book, “Artforms in Nature”, fill a Ray Bradbury inspired world and a 50’s Sci-Fi alien femme fatal watches a song, sung by my sister in girlscout camp to the melody of “The Snake Charmers Tune”, weave it’s way though the landscape.

this quilt is whole cloth painted with textile paints 37" x 62" 2004
If you would like to see step by step how I made this quilt look in the May archives

This won Judges choice at IQF Houston, Judges Choice and Viewers Choice at the Glendale Quilt Guild Show

My sister, who's work you can see on my links, learned this song in Girl Scout camp when we were kids in Maine. the song goes like this.

There's a place called Mars,
where the ladies smoke cigars.
Every puff they take
is enough to kill a snake.
When the snake is dead,
they put roses on its head.
When the roses die,
they put diamonds in their eyes.
When the diamonds break,
it will be 1968.

I love to hear when some one else knows this song or a close variation (not the one about france and ladies under pants). When I was in Houston I had people from all over New England, upstate New York and Pennsylvania tell me they learned this song in the early 60's. Another woman from Tennesee jumped rope to it in the late 50's. It was also known by someone in Colorado and another from Southern California from the late 50's. A woman from New jersey said she knew it with tulips and I think it ended in 1969.

89 comments:

  1. I remember this seeing this quilt last year on the internet, don't remember what web site. But it had a huge impact on me, and still does when I see it again today. Wonderful! Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Every time I see this quilt (the first time was at Houston's Quilt Festival), I'm just fascinated. I love both the vivid colors and the humorous subject. Thanks for posting this here so I can see it anytime I want!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow, you so ROCK! This kind of quilt is what made me want to get into quilting!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous7:02 PM

    I remember it this way:

    There's a place on mars
    where the ladies smoke cigars
    and the brand they smoke
    is enough to kill a goat
    and the goat they kill
    is enough to take a pill
    and the pill they take
    is enough to fry a snake
    and the snake they fry
    is enough to tell a lie
    and the lie they tell
    is enough to go goto hello operator
    give me number nine
    if you disconnect me
    i'll show you my behind the refrigerator
    there was a piece of glass and little annie sat on it and cut
    her little ask me no more questions
    tell me no more lies, the boys are in the bathroom, zipping down their flies

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous7:06 PM

    we also made one up. here's how it
    started:

    There's a place on Venus

    (i'll let you finish)

    ReplyDelete
  6. On the planet mars where the ladies smoke cigars

    Every puff they take is enough to kill a snake

    When the snakes are dead they put mushrooms in their head

    When the mushrooms die they put diamonds in their eyes

    When the diamonds shine it is 1969

    ReplyDelete
  7. funny...i found this site because i was looking up the song i remembered from my childhood...which was, by the way, in new england in the 1960's, as you have previously mentioned.
    i remember it similarly...

    There's a place called Mars
    Where the ladies smoke cigars
    And the smoke they make
    Is enough to kill a snake
    When the snake is dead
    They put roses on his head
    When the roses die they count
    1 2 3 4 5

    also, another commenter is mixing another song i remembered...

    Lulu had a steamboat
    The steamboat had a bell
    When Lulu went to heaven
    The steamboat went to hell-
    O operator
    Give me number 9
    If you disconnect me
    I'll kick you in the be-
    Hind the refridgerator
    There was a piece of glass
    When Lulu went to pick it up
    She cut her big fat as-
    K me no more questions
    Tell me no more lies
    Lulu told me all of this
    Right before she died
    She died

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love it, i totally remember that one!

    ReplyDelete
  9. There's a place on Mars,
    Where the ladies smoke cigars,
    And the men wear bikinis,
    And the children drink martinis....


    That's the starting variation my bosses six year old sang to me.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. What a riot, i love hearing these variations. keep them coming!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nickelbutt11:08 PM

    I learned this song from my brother when i was very young, around 1982, in north Texas! haven't heard it in years. I was trying to find the words on the net is how i found this page :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. its funny i usually get several blog visits a day that come from google searches on this song. it has been around for an awfully long time, the earliest recollection I have heard was from someone who said they learned it in the Los Angeles area in the late 1950's.

    ReplyDelete
  13. deborahohara12:11 PM

    hi there - i just came searching for the song which popped into my head as i was walking down the street with my 6 year old. i don't recall much beyond the snake, the roses and the diamonds, but i can tell you that i learned this song in the early seventies in london, real england. lovely quilt btw - we don't have that tradition here,except the aids one :(

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous10:05 PM

    Hi! Like others, I too found your site while trying to look up the lyrics to that song. (I love your quilt by the way, it's a much more beautiful and artistic representation than I'd ever imagined.) I lived in Massachusetts and went to school in the '90s there, so it's still alive and well with only slight variations. Here's the one I learned:

    On the planet Mars
    Where the ladies smoke cigars
    And the way it takes
    Is enough to kill a snake
    When the snake is dead
    They put roses on its head
    When the roses die
    They put diamonds in its eyes
    When the diamonds break
    It's the year of '88.

    This is actually an example of "child folklore," something I'd really love to study if ever I have the opportunity. It's stories and songs passed down through the generations entirely by children. Who says oral tradition is dead?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous3:25 PM

    There's a place on Mars
    Where the women smoke cigars
    And the men wear bikinis
    And the children drink martinis
    Every breath they take
    is enough to kill a snake
    when the snake is dead
    They put roses on his head
    When the roses die
    They put diamonds in his eyes
    When the diamonds crack
    They put mustard on its back
    When the mustard fades
    They call the King of Spades
    And the King of Spades says FREEZE!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous3:22 PM

    theres a place called mars
    where the ladies smoke cigars
    and the men whear bikinis
    and the children drink martinis
    every step you take
    is enough to kill a snake
    when the snake is dead
    you put mustard on its head
    when the mustard's dry
    you put diamonds in its eyes
    when the diamonds break
    it is 1998

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous5:56 PM

    Wow I haven't heard this since the late 90's



    There's a place on Mars
    Where the women smoke cigars
    And the men wear bikinis
    And the children drink martinis
    Every breath they take
    is enough to kill a snake
    when the snake is dead
    They put mustard on its head
    when the mustard dries
    they put diamonds in it's eyes
    when the diamonds fade
    they call the king of spades
    And the king of spades says FREEZE!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous9:41 AM

    There's a place called mars ,
    where the ladies smoke cigars
    Every puff they take is enough to kill a snake
    When the snake is dead,
    they put roses on its head.
    When the roses die,
    they put diamonds in their eyes.
    When the diamonds break,
    it will be 1968.

    ReplyDelete
  19. There's a place called mars ,
    where the ladies smoke cigars
    Every puff they take is enough to kill a snake
    When the snake is dead,
    they put roses on its head.
    When the roses die,
    they put diamonds in their eyes.
    When the diamonds break,
    it will be 1968.

    ReplyDelete
  20. theres a place on mards where the women smoke cigars and the men wear bikinis and the children drink martinis every step u take is enought to kill a snake when the snake is dead they put mustard on its head when the mustard dries they put diamonds in its eye. when the diamonds fade they call the king of spades.... thats all i know... lol

    ReplyDelete
  21. It's so interesting to see so many different versions...

    I'm from North Texas and mine went...

    There's a place on mars
    Where the women smoke cigars
    and the men were bikinis
    and the children drink martinis
    every breath you take
    is enough to kill a snake
    and when the snake is dead
    you put diamonds on its head
    when the diamonds crack
    you put mustard on its back
    when the mustard fades
    you call the king of spades
    and the king of spades says STOP

    I randomly came across your blog

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous6:59 AM

    You'll never believe this!
    My sister and I were talking about this song lasst weekend. We remember playing a clapping game to it. You won't believe our words...talk about deja vu!
    There's a place called Mars
    where the ladies smoke cigars
    every puff they take
    is enough to kill a snake
    When the snake is dead
    they put roses on its head
    when the roses wilt
    they begin to make a quilt
    when the quilt is done
    then they start to have some fun.

    ReplyDelete
  23. anonymous, the first one, said something from a clapping game rhyme I remember from the late 1990's.


    Miss Suzie had a steamboat
    The steamboat had a bell--DING DING!
    Miss Suzie went to Heaven,
    The steamboat went to HELL-

    --O operator!
    Give me number nine!
    And if you disconnect me, I'll chop off your

    Behind the frigerator,
    There was a piece of glass.
    Miss Suzie sat upon it
    And broke her little

    Ask me no more questions,
    Tell me no more lies.
    The boys are in the bathroom,
    Zipping up their

    Flies are in the meadow,
    The bees are in their hives.
    Miss Suzie and her boyfriend
    Are kissing in the
    D-A-R-K! D-A-R-K!

    DARK! DARK!

    Darker than the ocean,
    Darker than the sea,
    Darker than the underwear
    My mommy puts on me-me-me!

    I know I know my ma,
    I know I know my pa,
    I know I know my sister
    With the 40-acre bra-bra-bra!

    My mommy is Godzilla.
    My daddy is King Kong!
    My sister is the stupid one
    That taught me this dumb song-song-song!




    (Fin)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous8:16 PM

    We sang this clapping song when were kids (and now my daughter sings it with her friends)

    Miss Molly had a steamboat
    The steam boat had a bell
    When Molly went to heaven
    The steamboat went to

    Hello operator
    please give me number nine
    And if you disconnect me
    I'll kick you from

    Behind the refridgerator (or yellow curtain)
    There was a piece of glass
    Miss Molly sat upon it
    And cut her big fat

    Ask me no more questions
    Tell me no more lies
    The boys are in the bathroom
    Doing up their

    Flies are in the city
    Bees are in the park
    Boys and girls are having fun
    Kissing in the

    D A R K dark is like a movie
    Movie like a show
    Show is like a TV
    And that is all I

    Know I know my ma
    Know I know my pa
    Know I know my sister
    With the 80 meter bra!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous2:24 PM

    From Eastern Washington state:
    There's a place on mars
    Where the children drive their cars
    And the men wear bikini
    And the women have their weenie
    (something I don't remember)
    (don't remember) snake
    When the snake is dead
    they put mustard on it's head
    when the mustard dries
    they put diamonds in it's eyes
    when the diamonds break
    It's 1968 SHOOT

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous2:40 PM

    for some reason i remember a completely different version than everyone else......

    There's a place on Mars where the women smoke cigars and the brand they use is enough to kill a snake...
    But the snake wouldn't die so they poked him in the eye...
    And the eye turned blue so they put him in a zoo...
    But the zoo wouldn't take him so they cooked him in some bacon...
    But the bacon wouldn't cook so they put him in a book...
    But the book wouldn't close so they poked him in the nose...
    And his nose turned red so they put him in a bed...
    Then the bed turned over and the snake was dead...

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous2:53 PM

    Im a 90s kid and the version we sang was

    theres a place on mars
    where the ladies smoke cigars
    every puff they take
    is enough to kill a snake
    when the snake is dead
    they put roses in its head
    when the roses die
    they put diamonds in its eye
    when the diamonds break
    it is time to bake a cake
    when the cake is done
    its the year 2001

    ReplyDelete
  28. Phil Autelitano2:42 PM

    The way I learned it (in 1980) was:

    On the planet Mars
    Where the monkeys smoke cigars
    Every puff they take is enough
    to kill a snake...

    yadda yadda yadda

    I don't remember the end though.

    Mrs. Robare taught us that in second grade!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous11:59 PM

    I grew up in Massachusetts

    I learned this version around 1997/1998


    On the planet mars
    where the ladies smoke cigars
    where the boys wear bikinis
    and the children drink martinis
    every step that you take
    is enough to kill a snake
    when the snake is dead
    you put ketchup head
    when the ketchup dries
    you put diamonds in its eyes
    when the diamonds break
    you will bake a wedding cake
    when the cake is done
    it is 1941

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous6:21 PM

    This is fun! I don't know if I can remember the exact version I learned after reading so many other ones, but I think it was (from Minnesota in the 90's)

    On the planet mars
    where the ladies smoke cigars
    and the men wear bikinis
    and the babies drink martinis
    every step you take
    is enough to kill a snake
    and when the snake is dead
    you put flowers on his head
    and when the flowers die
    you put ice cubes in his eye
    and when the ice cubes break
    it is 1958

    And another one people have been sharing:

    Miss Suzie had a steamboat
    The steamboat had a bell ding ding
    Miss Suzie went to Heaven
    The steamboat went to...
    Hell-o operator
    Please give me number nine
    And if you disconnect me
    I'll chop off your...
    Behind the fridgerator
    There was a piece of glass
    Miss Suzie sat upon it
    And poked her in the...
    (Ass)k me no more questions
    I'll tell you no more lies
    The boys are in the girls room
    Zipping up their...
    Flies are in the meadow
    Bees are in the park
    Miss Suzie and her boyfriend
    Are kissing in the d a r k d a r k
    dark dark
    Dark is like a movie
    A movie is like a show
    A show is like a TV set
    and that is all I know
    I know my ma
    I know I know my pa
    I know I know my sister
    With the 80 dollar
    80 dollar
    80 dollar bra bra
    Bra is for a woman
    A woman is for a man
    A man is for a TV set
    and that's the end!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Mariana1:47 PM

    HA! i remember that from 5th grade. One variation i remember was

    There's a place on mars
    Where the women smoke cigars,
    The men wear bikinis and the
    Babies drink martinis
    They kill big snakes with
    Really huge rakes
    And when the snake is dead,
    They put mustard on it's head
    And when the mustard dries,
    They put diamonds in their eyes.
    And when the diamonds break,
    They go Highway 58

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. Anonymous11:51 AM

    In my summer camp in the 90s where to people would sing this while doing some kind of hand clap pattern that I forget.

    There's a place on mars
    where the women smoke cigars
    and the men wear bikinis
    and the children drink martinis
    every breath you take
    is enough to kill a snake
    when the snake is dead
    you put roses on his head
    when the roses die
    you put diamonds in his eye
    when the diamonds crack
    your put mustard down his back
    when the mustard fades
    you must call the king of spades
    when the king of spades says FREEZE

    then at that point the first person to move lost the game.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymous5:16 PM

    there's a place on mars
    where the women smoke cigars
    and the men wear bikinis
    and the children eat linguini...

    ReplyDelete
  34. Anonymous12:05 AM

    on the plant mars where the babys smoke sigars and the men wear bikinis and the women drink martines every breth u take is enough to kill a snake when the snake is dead u put musterd on his head when the musterd dries u put dimonds in its eyes when thedimonds break it is 1948 theres a place in france where the naked ladys dance and theres a hole in the wall so the boys can see it all

    ReplyDelete
  35. on the planet mars
    where the ladies smoke cigars
    where the men wear bikinis
    and the babies drink martinis
    they sit they take..
    it's enough to kill a snake
    when the snake is dead
    they'll put mustard on it's head
    when the mustard dries
    they'll put diamonds in it's eyes
    when the diamonds break
    the year's 1948

    ReplyDelete
  36. oh & the other one:

    miss lucy had a steamboat
    the steamboat had a bell
    miss lucy went to heaven
    the steamboat went to
    hell-o operator
    please give me number 9
    and if you disconnect me
    i'll chop off your
    behind the refrigerator
    there was a piece of glass
    miss lucy sat upon it
    and broke her little
    (ass)k me no more questions
    please tell me no more lies
    the boys are in the bathroom
    and they're zipping up their
    flies are in the meadow
    the bees are in the park
    miss lucy and her boyfriend
    are kissing in the
    d-a-r-k d-a-r-k
    darker than the ocean
    darker than the sea
    darker than the naked boy
    who's chasing after you - not me
    i know i know my mother
    i know i know my pa
    i know i know my sister
    with the 40 acre bra
    i know my mom's godzilla
    i know my dad's king kong
    i know i know my brother
    who made up this dumb song
    so hello operator
    please give me number 10
    and if you disconnect me
    i'll sing this song again!'

    wow that brought back some memories!!
    my version is from about 1998 when i was in elementary school

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anonymous9:19 PM

    I remember it from the 5th grade and it went something like this:

    On the planet mars
    Where the women smoke cigars
    And the men where bikinis
    And the babies shake their tities
    And the girls in France
    Do the hula hula dance
    And when they shaaaake
    Its enough to kill the snake
    And it the snake don't die
    They put diamonds in their eyes
    And if the diamonds break
    It'll be 1988

    -Lexi

    ReplyDelete
  38. Anonymous4:14 PM

    Coca-Cola went to town
    7-up knocked him down
    Mountain Dew picked him up
    Brought him to Dr. Pepper
    Dr. Pepper gave him sleeping pills
    He had a dream that went like this-
    There's a place on mars
    Where the women smoke cigars
    And the men wear bikinis
    And the children drink martini's
    Every step they take
    Is enough to kill a snake
    When the snake is dead
    They put mustard on its head
    When the mustard dries
    They put Rubys in its eyes
    When the Rubys break
    They bring it to the king and shout
    BOO!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous1:58 PM

    I heard the version-

    On the planet mars
    Where the women smoke cigars
    And the men wear bikinis
    And the children drink martinis
    Every breath that I take
    Is enough to kill a snake
    When the snake is dead
    We'll put diamonds in his head
    When the diamonds crack
    We'll put mustard down his back
    When the mustard fade
    We'll call the king of spades
    And the king of spades says freeze

    ReplyDelete
  40. sydney rae ford9:57 PM

    Tha waii i lernd waz: There's a place called mars when the babies smoke ciagars and tha men were bikinis and tha women drink matinis Every step i take is enough to kill a snake when the snake is dead we put mustard on there heads when tha mustard dries we put diamonds in there eyes when the diamonds break it'll be 1968

    ReplyDelete
  41. Anonymous6:35 AM

    They are using the tune of the song on a faucet commercial now.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Haha! That song was huge when I was in about first grade. Here's how we did it in Ohio:

    There's a place on Mars
    Where the babies smoke cigars
    And the men wear bikinis
    And the women drink martinis
    Every sip they take
    Is enough to kill a snake
    And when the snake is dead
    They put mustard on his head
    And when the mustard dries
    They put diamonds in his eyes
    And when the diamonds break
    It's year 3048

    ReplyDelete
  43. P.S. I'm sixteen, and I was in first grade in 1999! I also found this page by googling. ♥

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hi, I'm fourteen, we sang a variation of that song from around 3rd grade - 5th grade (2002-2005) in Portland, Oregon. It went like this:
    There's a place on Mars
    Where the women smoke cigars
    And the men wear bikinis
    While the children drink martinis
    And the breath it takes
    Is enough to kill a snake
    When the snake is dead
    You put rubies in it's head
    When the rubies rot
    You put mustard on the spot
    When the mustard fades
    You call the king of Spades
    When the king is there
    You put rubies in his hair
    When he says to you
    "Go away!"
    And you don't know what to do
    You...
    FREEZE!

    Some of it doesn't really make a lot of sense, but now that I read some of the older versions, it makes a lot more sense!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Anonymous7:49 PM

    miss suzie had a steamboat
    the steam boat had a bell.
    miss suzie went to heven
    miss suzie went to
    hello opperator please give me
    number 9 and if you disconnect me i will chop off your behind the refrigerator there was a piece of glass miss suzie fell upon it
    and broke her little ask me no more questions please tell me no more lies the boys are in the bathroom swatting out the flies are in the city the bees are in the park miss suzie and her boyfriend are kissing in the d-a-r-k d-a-r-k dark dark dark dark dark dark is like a theater a theater is like a show a show is like a movie i know i know i know iknow my mama i know i know my pa i know i know my sister wharing the 18 hour bra bra bra



    on a place called mars where the ladies smoke cigars every step you take is enough to kill a snake when the snake is dead you put roses in his head when the roses die you put diamonds in his eyes when the diamonds braek it is 1998-FREEZE!!!

    ReplyDelete
  46. Anonymous6:31 PM

    To the gardens (prance?) do the hoochie coochie dance, and the way they dance is enough to kill a snake when the snake is dead they put roses on its head, when the roses die they put diamonds in their eyes, when the diamonds break its the year of 68 (we also had a line about the mustard craking too)

    ReplyDelete
  47. .:*Kristie*:.10:16 PM

    i remember this song when i was in 3rd grade so i was about 8 (bringing back memories!)
    There's a places on mars
    Where the women smoke cigars
    And the men wear bikinis
    And the babies drink martinis
    Every step they take
    Is enough to kill a snake
    When the snake is dead
    They put ketchup on their head
    When the ketchup dries
    They put diamonds in their eyes
    When the diamonds break
    It will be 2008!!

    And this one.....

    Miss Suzy had a steam boat
    The Steam Boat had a bell (Toot Toot)
    Miss Suzy went to heaven
    the steam boat went to

    Hell-O operator
    lease give me number 9
    And if you disconnect me
    Ill kick you from

    Behind the refridgerator
    There was a piece of glass
    Miss suzy sat upon
    And broke her little

    (Ass)k me no more questions
    Tell me No more lies
    The boys are in the bathroom
    Zipping up their

    Flies are in the city
    Bees are in the park
    Miss Suzy and her boyfriend
    are kissing in the

    D A R K D A R K
    darker then the ocean
    darker then the sea
    darker the the underwear My momma put in me!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Anonymous8:16 PM

    i heard the second song like this:
    miss mary had a steamboat
    the steamboat had a bell (ding ding)
    the steamboat went to heaven
    miss mary went to hell-
    o operator please give me number 9
    and if you disconnect me
    ill kick you from behind
    the 'frigerator there was a piece of glass
    miss mary sat upon it
    and broke her little as-
    k me no more questions
    tell me no more lies
    the boys are in the bathroom
    zipping up their flies
    are in the city
    bees are in the park
    miss mary and her boyfriend are kissing in the
    D-A-R-K D-A-R-K
    DARK DARK darker than the ocean
    darker than the sea
    darker than miss mary kissing you not me!


    I also recollect the other song going like this:
    theres a place on mars
    where the women smoke cigars
    and the men wear bikinis
    and the babies drink martinis
    every step you take
    is enough to kill a snake
    when the snake is dead
    you put mustard on his head
    when the mustard dries
    you put diamonds in his eyes
    when the diamonds crack
    you put flowers on its back
    when the flowers die
    then all of the pigs can fly

    ReplyDelete
  49. I just learned a new version on Friday, it goes like this:

    There's a place on Mars
    Where the women are the gods
    And the men don't care
    Because they eat their underwear
    Every step you take is enough to
    Kill a snake
    When the snake is dead
    You pour mustard on it's head
    When the mustard dries
    You put diamonds in his eyes
    When the diamonds break
    It was 1948.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Anonymous2:50 AM

    There's a place on mars
    where the ladies smoke cigars.
    every birthday cake
    is enough to kill a snake
    when the snake is dead
    they put dimonds in it's head
    when the dimonds break
    they call the king of spades
    and- the -king -of -spades -says -FREEZE!

    the hand clap- clap hands together. right hand facing up, left down. clap with partner. reverse. and repeat. at the end of the song you get into a postition before the singer says freeze. the first person to move loses the game.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Emily says:
    On the planet Mars,
    where the ladies smoke cigars,
    every breath they take,
    is enough to kill a snake,
    when the snake is dead,
    they put roses on his head,
    when the roses die,
    they put diamonds in his eyes,
    when the diamonds crack,
    they put mustard on his back,
    when the mustard stick it is 1986.
    (or we just edit the number for the futur for example, 2026 instead of 1986)

    ReplyDelete
  52. Anonymous3:21 AM

    On the planet Mars
    where the women smoke cigars
    And the men wear bikinis
    And the children drink martinis
    Every step you take
    you just may step on a snake
    and when the snake is dead
    you put roaches on its head
    When the roaches die
    You put diamonds in their eyes
    On the planet Mars
    du du du du du du du

    And...

    Miss Suzy had a steamboat
    The steamboat had a bell (ding ding)
    Miss Suzy went to heaven
    the steamboat went to hell-
    O operator Give me number 9
    And if you disconect me
    Ill kick you from Be-
    Hind the refrigerator
    There was a piece of glass
    Miss Suzy sat upon it
    And broke her little
    Ask me no more questions
    Tell me no more lies
    the boys are in the bathroom
    Zipping up their
    Flies are in the meadow
    Bees are in the park
    Miss Suzy and her boyfriend
    Are kissing in the
    D-a-r-k. D-a-r-k
    Dark dark
    Darker then the ocean
    Darker then the sea
    I see a naked lady
    Chasing after me
    my ma gave me a penny
    My dad gave me a dime
    My sister gave me a boyfriend
    His name is Frankenstein
    He made me wash the dishes
    He made me mop the floors
    He made me wear his underwear
    So I kicked him out the door
    I kicked him over London
    I kick him over France
    I kicked him over Hawaii
    where the hula girls dance
    hula hula!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Anonymous10:06 PM

    Theres a place on mars

    Where the women smoke cigars

    and the men wear bikinis

    and the children drink zucchinis

    every breath they take

    is enough to kill a snake

    when the snake is dead

    they'll put flowers on its head

    when the flowers die

    they'll put diamonds in its eye

    when the diamonds crackle

    they'll put mustard on its back

    when the mustard fades

    they will call the king of spades

    when the king of spades yells freeze

    ReplyDelete
  54. Anonymous1:32 PM

    there's a place called Mars
    where the ladies smoke cigars
    and the men wear bikinis
    and the children drink martinis
    every breath you take
    is enough to kill a snake
    when the snake is dead
    you pour mustard on his head
    when the mustard dries
    you put diamonds in his eyes
    when the diamonds break
    it is time to bake a cake
    when the cake is done
    it is time to have some FUNN

    also
    Miss Suzie had a steamboat
    the steamboat had a bell
    Miss Suzie went to heaven the steamboat went to
    hell-o operator
    please give me number nine
    and if you disconnect me
    i'll kick you from
    behind the 'frigerator
    there was a piece of glass
    Miss Suzie sat upon it
    and broke her little
    ask me no more questions
    tell me no more lies
    the boys are in the bathroom
    zipping up their
    flies are in the meadow
    bees are in the park
    Miss Suzie and her boyfriend
    are kissing in the
    D-A-R-K D-A-R-K
    dark dark dark
    is like a movie
    a movie's like a show
    a show is like a TV screen
    and that is all i know
    i know my ma
    i know i know my pa
    i know i know my sister
    with the 40 acre bra!!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Anonymous9:52 AM

    I learned the song as:
    On the planet of mars
    where the ladies smoke cigars
    every birthday cake is enough to kill a snake
    when the snake is dead they put diamonds in his head
    when the diamonds break
    We go back to '68...

    ReplyDelete
  56. Teresa4:24 PM

    There's a place on Mars
    Where the women smoke cigars
    and the men wear bikinis
    and the children drink martinis.
    Every breath they take
    is enough to kill a snake
    when the snakes are dead
    they put roses on their head
    when the roses die
    they put diamonds in their eyes
    when the diamonds crack
    they put mustard on their back
    when the mustard fades,
    they call the king of spades
    and the kind of spades says....
    FREEZE!

    I learned it as a hand game.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Teresa4:25 PM

    There's a place on Mars
    Where the women smoke cigars
    and the men wear bikinis
    and the children drink martinis.
    Every breath they take
    is enough to kill a snake
    when the snakes are dead
    they put roses on their head
    when the roses die
    they put diamonds in their eyes
    when the diamonds crack
    they put mustard on their back
    when the mustard fades,
    they call the king of spades
    and the kind of spades says....
    FREEZE!

    I learned it as a hand game.

    ReplyDelete
  58. This is what I know, I know the hand movements and everything perfectly.
    I learned this when I was younnggg.

    There's a land on Mars,
    Where the women smoked cigars.
    And the men wore bikinis,
    And the children drank martinis.
    Every breath you take, is enough to kill a snake.
    When the snake is dead,
    You put roses on its head.
    When the roses die,
    You put diamonds in its eye.
    When the diamonds crack,
    You put mustard down its back.
    When the mustard fades,
    You call the King of Spades.
    When the King of Spades says FREEZE.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Laura9:54 AM

    When I was little my swim team would sing this when we were waiting to compete.

    There's a place on mars
    Where the ladies smoke cigars
    Every breath they take
    Is enough to kill a snake
    When the Snake is dead
    They put diamonds in its head
    When the diamonds break,
    They will count from one to eight.

    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 -

    There's a place in France
    Where the pantless ladies dance
    And the cops don't care
    Cuz they still have underwear
    There's a hole in the wall
    Where the men can watch it all
    When the girls catch on
    They will put their pants back on.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Anonymous9:30 AM

    Theres a place on mars where the women drive there cars but the men dont care cause they drive them every where every brethe they take is enogh to kill a snake when the snake gose dead they put roses on its head when the roses die the put dimends in its eyes when the dimends creak the put musterd on its back when the mustard fadeds they call the kings spades and the king says stop! no blinking no smiling no brething go!.......... now stop!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Anonymous7:32 PM

    theres a place on mars
    where the ladies smoke cigars
    every puff they take
    is enough to kill a snake
    when the snake is dead
    they put roses in its head
    when the roses die
    its the fourth of july

    ReplyDelete
  62. Anonymous11:23 PM

    I learned a variation when i was in elementary school at my summer camp.

    On the planet mars,
    where all the babies smoke cigars,
    and the men wear bikinis,
    and the women drink martinis.
    Every step you take is enough to kill a snake,
    when the snake is dead,
    you put mustard on his head,
    when the mustard dries,
    you put diamonds in his eyes,
    when the diamonds break,
    it is time to bake a cake,
    when the cake is done it is 1941!
    FREEZE!

    that was in early 2000 when i learned that. I'm in high school now.

    And i also learned one like the lucy one.

    miss lucy had a baby
    she named him tiny tim
    she put him in the water
    to see if he could swim
    he drank up all the water
    he ate up all the soap
    he tried to eat the bathtub,
    but it wouldn't fit down his throat
    miss lucy called the doctor
    miss lucy called the nurse
    miss lucy called the lady with the alligator purse
    medicine said the doctor
    shots said the nurse
    pizza said the lady with the alligator purse
    (something i think i'm forgetting....)
    out went the doctor
    out went the nurse
    out went the lady with the alligator purse.
    (and i think thats it but i don't really remember all of it. this was one i learned in elementary school along with miss merry mac)

    ReplyDelete
  63. I was in elementary school around 1993, we sang it this way:

    On the planet Mars
    Where the women smoke cigars
    And the men wear bikinis
    While the children eat sardinis
    Every move you make
    Is enough to kill as snake
    When the snake is dead
    They put roses in its head
    When the roses die
    They put diamonds in its eye
    When the diamonds break
    It is 1998.

    Loved these little song games.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Anonymous7:38 AM

    my 1st 1 was: on the planet mars were the babies smoke cigars and the men wear bikinis and the women drink martinis every step u take makes u wanna kill a snake when the snake is dead ill put mustard on its head when the mustard dries ill put diamonds in its eyes when the diamonds break itll be 1948 freeze the other 1 was:
    miss lucy had a steamboat
    the steamboat had a bell
    miss lucy went to heaven
    the steamboat went to
    hell-o operator
    please give me number 9
    and if you disconnect me
    i'll chop off your
    behind the refrigerator
    there was a piece of glass
    miss lucy sat upon it
    and broke her little
    (ass)k me no more questions
    please tell me no more lies
    the boys are in the bathroom
    and they're zipping up their
    flies are in the meadow
    the bees are in the park
    miss lucy and her boyfriend
    are kissing in the
    d-a-r-k d-a-r-k
    darker than the ocean
    darker than the sea
    darker than the naked boy
    who's chasing after you - not me
    i know i know my mother
    i know i know my pa
    i know i know my sister
    with the 40 acre bra
    i know my mom's godzilla
    i know my dad's king kong
    i know i know my brother
    who made up this dumb song
    so hello operator
    please give me number 10
    and if you disconnect me
    i'll sing this song again!

    ReplyDelete
  65. Haha, this is a riot to read all of these versions! This is the one we sang in grade school, in the 90's in New Jersey.

    There's a place on Mars
    where the women smoke cigars,
    where the men wear bikinis
    and the children drink martinis,
    Every breath you take
    is enough to kill a snake.
    When the snake is dead
    put a diamond on its head,
    when the diamond cracks put some butter on its back.
    When the butter melts,
    call the King of Spades,
    (sing faster)He tells you to go away
    and when you don't he shouts
    FREEZE.

    This game was played in a clapping motion, similar to patty cake. The first girl (or boy) who moved lost. :)

    ReplyDelete
  66. Randi2:33 PM

    Well, I'm 11 years old, and this is how my friends and I played the other day:

    There's a place on mars,
    where the babies smoke cigars,
    And the men wear bikinis,
    and the women drink martinis,
    every step you take,
    is enough to kill a snake,
    when th snake is dead,
    you put mustard on its head.
    When the mustard dries,
    you put diamonds in its eyes,
    when the diamonds break its 1948.
    Mickey Mouse built a house,
    Donald Duck messed it up.
    Who is the guilty one.
    Y--O---U Pee-kaa-chu.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Anonymous2:27 AM

    In Australia about 35 years ago I sang as a child
    There a place on mars where the women wear no bras
    and the men walk around with their dickies hanging down

    That was the rudest song I knew at the time I dont remember where I heard it though or where it orginated from.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Its fun knowing that naked martians were also showing up down under! thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Anonymous5:42 PM

    im in 5ht grade now and this is what we ussually sing
    theres a place on mars
    where the woman smoke sugars
    and the men where bikinis
    and the children drink martinis
    >>>>>>>dont know<<<<<<<<<<<
    every breath u take is enough to kill a snake
    when the snake is dead you put diamnds n its head
    when the dimaond cracks you put mustard on his back
    when the mustard fades you call the king of spades
    when the king ges home you play ping pong
    when u play ping pong you FREEZE

    ReplyDelete
  70. Anonymous5:56 PM

    I was on the way home from dropping off my daughter at a school dance (now called 'Fun Night') when this Kesha song ("Take it Off"-URGH!) came on with the tune of "Place called Mars...", which of course reminded me of the song and through my searching lead me to your site. I remember it EXACTLY as you originally posted,Judy! I grew up in CT in the mid 70's and that's when we were singing this little tune. Awesome...hadn't thought of it in years. Ha...also reminds me of the "baby, baby" and "Liar, Liar" ditties! :)

    ReplyDelete
  71. Anonymous7:04 PM

    I remember hearing it slightly different growing up in the early 90's

    On the planet mars
    Where the ladies smoke cigars
    And the men wear bikinis
    And then monkeys suck their wee wees
    And the babies shake their titties

    ReplyDelete
  72. Anonymous1:20 AM

    Ha! I remember it almost EXACTLY as Judy posted it, down to the 1968 part - odd because it was probably closer to 1978 when I learned it. However the version I knew had this additional couplet after the first two lines and before ""Every puff..."

    And the men don't care,
    'cause they smoke their underwear.

    Also, for whatever reason, "Freeze!" was yelled at the end of it. I learned it from a bratty, spoiled rich girl in CT in the mid to late 1970s.

    As to the other tune mentioned often in the comments, my sister sang it as "Miss Lucy," and I always thought of Lucille Ball, in black and white as Lucy Ricardo, as being Miss Lucy. Odd what the six or seven year old mind comes up with.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Anonymous4:41 PM

    im 16 and live in PA. we used to sing this all the time in elementary school and stuff. our version was:
    theres a place on mars
    where the wemon smoke cigars
    and the men wear bikinis
    and the children drink martinis
    every breath you take
    is enouugh to kill a snake
    when the snake it dead
    you put diamonds on its head
    when the dismonds crack
    you out mustard down its back
    when the mustard fades
    you put it in a cage
    and cage always says:
    no laughing no smiling no showing your teeth put your hands behind your back and freeze.

    i dont remember the miss lucy one but here one i do remember

    coca cols came to town
    diet pepsi knocked him down
    dr peper fixed him up
    now were drinking 7-UP
    7-Up caught the flu
    now were drinking moutain dew
    moutain dew fell off the moutain
    now were drinking from the foutain
    the foutain broke
    now were drinking plain old ordinary coke

    ReplyDelete
  74. There's a place called mars ,
    where the ladies smoke cigars
    Every puff they take is enough to kill a snake
    When the snake is dead,
    they put roses on its head.
    When the roses die,
    they put diamonds in their eyes.
    When the diamonds break,
    it will be 1968.

    Yeah, I remember that one. The girls would play this game a they sang it. It involved one of them holding out her arm while the one singing would move her hand up and down it with light karate chop motions and as she sang the final syllable the final chop was not so light

    ReplyDelete
  75. I remember it like this:

    There's a place on Mars
    Where the women smoke cigars
    And the men wear bikinis
    And the children drink martinis
    And every breath they take is enough to kill a snake
    When the snake is dead, they put mustard on its head
    When the mustard dry’s, they but diamonds in its eyes
    When the diamonds break, they call the King of Spades
    And the King of Space says FREEZE!!

    ReplyDelete
  76. Anonymous8:15 PM

    I know: theres a place in mars
    Where the women smoke cigars
    The men wear bikinis
    And children drink martinis
    Every breath u take is enough to kill a snake
    If the snake wont die
    Then put diamonds in his eyes
    If the diamonds crack then put mustard on its back
    If he mustard fades
    Tben call the king of spades
    And the king of spades says freeze

    ReplyDelete
  77. Anonymous7:24 PM

    On the planet mars,
    Where the women smoke cigars,
    And the men wear bikinis,
    And the children drink martinis,
    Every move you make,
    Is enough to kill a snake,
    When the snake is dead,
    You put roaches on its head,
    When the roaches dissolve,
    You can celebrate it all,
    On the planet,
    Mars mars mars!

    ReplyDelete
  78. Anonymous9:45 PM

    Tanya.

    I learned this near Ft. Worth, Texas in the late 70's:

    There's a place called Mars,
    where the ladies smoke cigars.
    Every puff they take
    is enough to kill a snake.
    When the snake is dead,
    they put roses on his head.
    When the roses die,
    they put diamonds in his eyes.
    When the diamonds break,
    they put mustard down his back.
    When the mustard dries,
    we count 1,2,3,4,5

    ReplyDelete
  79. I knew it as:
    There a place on Mars
    Where the Women wear no Bras
    And the men don't care
    Cause they wear no underwear...

    ReplyDelete
  80. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Anonymous7:38 AM

    Wow - with all these variations I can't believe ours, from the early '70s in upstate NY, isn't here yet...

    On the planet Mars where the ladies smoke cigars
    Every puff they take is enough to kill a snake
    When the snake is dead they put roses in its head
    When the roses die they put diamonds in its eye
    When the diamonds crack they put mustard on its back
    When the mustard sticks its the year of '66.

    And...
    Miss Lucy had a steamboat
    The steamboat had a bell
    The steamboat went to heaven and Miss Lucy went to
    Hello operator
    Give me #9
    If you disconnect me
    I'll kick you in
    Behind the 'frigerator
    There was a pile of glass
    Miss Lucy slipped upon it
    And it went right up her
    Ask me no more questions
    Tell me no more lies
    Boys and girls are in the cellar
    Pulling down their
    Flies are in the city
    Bees are in the park
    Boys and girls are kissing
    In the p-a-r-k Park.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Anonymous10:33 PM

    When I was a kid growing up on Martha's Vineyard Island it went like this

    There's a place called Mars
    Where the ladies smoke cigars
    And the smoke they make
    Is enough to kill a snake
    But the snake don't die
    He's a very lucky guy

    ReplyDelete
  83. The lyrics popped in my head for no apparent reason and stuck there, so I found this by a Google search to remember the year at the end. Thank you.

    I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area (East Bay) in the late 60's and heard it as a hand-clapping game or a jump rope rhyme this way:

    On the planet Mars
    where the women smoke cigars
    every puff they take
    is enough to kill a snake.
    When the snake is dead
    they put roses is its head.
    When the roses die
    they put diamonds in its eye.
    When the diamonds break
    it's in 1948.

    Our hand clapping started with one hand up and the other hand down. The person opposite us had the reverse hands up and down. The top hands would come down as the bottom hands would come up. We would clap our hands with our partner's hands like that twice, then clap our own hands together, then clap right hands together,
    clap our own hands
    clap left hands
    clap own hands twice
    clap backs of hands with partner
    clap fronts of hands with partner
    Then repeat the whole thing with one hand up and the other down. We would see which pair of people could clap the longest.

    I remember the steamboat and the bell with Hello Operator. Now another song popped into my head.

    Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack
    All dressed in black, black, black
    with silver buttons buttons buttons
    all down her back back back
    I can't remember any more, but want to say there was something about a chute.

    Thank you for the year (1948) to settle my brain and thank you for bringing up happy memories from my childhood.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did an internet search on Miss Mary Mack and there was not a chute in it.

      I guess there is another song I have mixed it up with. I remember a ladder too. Hmmm...

      Delete
    2. Hi Joyce, thanks for leaving your version of the rhyme too. I remember Miss Mary Mack too, it's probably documented somewhere. It's sad this kind of folklore is disappearing since kids play differently with less simple sidewalk games.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous7:33 PM

      It goes like this.

      Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack
      All dressed in black black black
      With silver buttons buttons buttons
      All down her back back back
      She asked her mother mother mother
      For fifty cents cents cents
      To go see the elephants elephants elephants
      Jump the fence fence fence
      They jumped so high high high
      They touched the sky sky sky
      And never came back back back
      Until Fourth of July July July

      Delete
  84. Hello Judy.
    You are correct. It isn't seen as safe to leave children outside, unattended all day. Thank you for helping keep the memories and history alive. I am hoping someone will remember the one about the chute and ladder.
    Joyce

    ReplyDelete
  85. Gotta add mine, especially since it seems I've remembered it so incorrectly. I learned the poem in elementary school in the 80s in California.
    There's a place on Mars
    Where the Roaches smoke cigars
    Every puff they take
    Is enough to kill a snake
    When the snake is dead
    They put roses in his head
    When the roses die
    They put diamonds in his eye
    When the diamonds break
    It's 1988!

    ReplyDelete
  86. Anonymous6:02 PM

    In the land of Oz
    Where the ladies smoke cigars
    Every puff they take is enough to kill a snake
    When the snakes are dead
    They put roses in their heads
    When the roses die
    They put diamonds in their eyes
    When the diamonds break
    It is 1968

    ReplyDelete

It's always so nice to get comments. I'm sorry about Blogger's hard to read Spam blocker filter, unfortunately it's that or porn spam :-/

Try clicking the circular arrow below until you get a word and number combo that's legible.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails